If you haven't read this yet, there's going to be a few things in here that will spoil the surprise, so if you read it don't be mad at me.

I cried during the last three chapters. I'm a sap for touching moments, and when Harry found out he was supposed to die I was a pathetic sap about it. But I didn't cry as much then as I did when Neville Longbottom cut off the snake's head to destroy the last horcrux because Harry asked him to, even though everyone thought Harry was dead. He wasn't by the way, he came back because he'd willingly given up his life to save everyone else. And I cried when Fred died so much I couldn't see so I had to wait to read the rest. And then I lost it again when Mrs. Weasley killed Bellatrix Lestrange after screaming at her not to touch any more of her kids... Man. She was the cutest, most fluffiest character in the book- so cute you have to use incorrect grammar to describe her. Oh man. It was so good. I forgot how much those books sucked me in.

It turns out I'm uninsurable in the U.S. because of a psychiatric diagnosis. I have to get my psychologist to erase it from everywhere...

I honestly don't know what to do. I have to have insurance to get my meds. I can't function without them. Really. I can't. It's not fucking fair. This bullshit... always happens to me. I'm so sick of it. I know there are people worse off than me but I can't even find it in me to care right now, I hate everything so much. I have tried so damned hard to be a good person in spite of everything, little as it might be in the global scheme of things.

Oh Lord. McCain has suspended his campaign.

This cannot be good.

Scream! As loud as you can!

For anyone who doesn't realize it, we, America, are in a recession that's heading toward being as disastrous as the Great Depression. McCain's idea for dealing with this is to stick his fingers in his ears and go "Nananana nyaaaaaa nahhhh! Nananna lalalal I can't hear you!" Obama at least has a plan. It will increase taxes, sure- but would you rather a tax increase or losing your homes, jobs, food, etcetera...

Bush, however, has come up with his own plan.
Let's give these mortgage companies seven million dollars! Or billion, I can't remember.

Included in this illustrious bill there is the little itty bitty fact that it gives Bush dictatorial rights. Meaning he'd be the Caesar of our time. And we'd name a salad after him after our country was left in ruins.

One of my teachers, Mr. Heyde, the greatest man I know addressed our class one day regarding the "issues" of our last election. The hot button "issue" was abortion- now, as he predicted, it's gay marraige. What he also told us is that gas prices would rise and rise and eventually, some how, some way, Bush would declare the country in a 'state of emergency.' For those of you out there who don't know what that means, in essence it means that Bush would stay in office for as long as he wanted. I fear that this recession is the state of emergency he'll call. If it is, I'm getting out. I'm going to Canada. I just can't do this anymore- I'll have no part of Bush's regime taking over and I'll have no part in a war with Russia or anything of the sort. I'll have none of this. I'll move to Canada, I don't care what I have to do.

UPDATE:
Obama won the debate! There might be hope. McCain's whole stand on everything was "Nah uh, Obama's.. he's just.. look at him, he's mean!"
Real smart, that McCain.
It was amusing, really- Obama had real thoughts and opinions and plans and McCain either skirted the actual issue at hand or rephrased what Obama said. He said he didn't think we should sit down and talk with Russia and the minute Obama said he wanted to sit down and talk to Russia and try to work out our differences and come to some sort of agreement McCain was all "well I think that we should really talk with Russia in a sitting position, and attempt to talk with them- causing us to come to some kind of agreement and perhaps come to some kind of uh, conclusive conclusion on agreeing with one another."
Niiiiiiice.
The whole debate went this way. Obama being a mature adult and adressing McCain with respect and consideration and McCain rolling his eyes at him and sneering and talking with a voice dripping with disdain when he couldn't answer half of the questions.

I've fallen in love with this band, Tokio Hotel. Little German cutie pantses. And I've come to a realization. America's new National Anthem is Final Day by Tokio Hotel. Give it a listen, you'll see what I mean. I was listening to it in my car today, and it really hit me as I was passing the 4.09 dollar gas prices. You see, there is a commercial here for a man- I don't know who he is or what he's running for, or even if he's running for anything at all. All I know is that he's all for off shore drilling because, and this is a direct quote:

"We need alternative fuel sources but the technology's just not there yet."

This, dear people, is a lie. A total and complete bold faced lie and it KILLS me that people are falling for it. We're simply letting ourselves be force fed this nonsense and nobody is even standing up and saying no, the technology is there, right now, in real time, today- and if we wanted to it would be very easy- although time consuming and yeilding less money in the oil companies pockets- to switch over to renewable resources- and I'm not saying natural gas.

First off, hydrogen run cars have already been invented, but squished by big oil companies. But even beyond that, there is a renewable resource right in our own back yards! Literally, for some people. How do I know this? It's simple. Last semester I took a class in which I did a project about Brazil. What does Brazil have to do with this, you ask? Simple.

Brazil's entire country runs on fuel made from wheat.

Do you really expect me to believe that Brazil, a country less technologically advanced than the great "SuperPower" that is America is capable of coming up with better fuel technology than us? That we can't figure out how to do it? Or call up Brazil and just ask? I don't think so. That fuel is cleaner and, obviously, completely renewable. And in America the technology is there, now, to make ethanol out of corn. Don't believe me? Go to your local gas station- chances are there will be a little sticker somewhere on the pump stating that ethanol is contained in their fuel supply. So why do gas prices keep going up and up and nobody does anything? Because everyone is in a state of submission right now worse than any I've seen before. If this were the sixties, seventies, or eighties there would be riots by now. But we just sit back and watch our Final Day coming, pretending to go on with our lives down here, accepting what we're being told...

At this point I'm not even angry at our government, they've been lying to us for years. At this point I am angry at the people as a whole for just sitting back and not even bothering to write a letter or a blog or any of these things simply because it's easier to sit there and pretend like everything is perfect and everyone is going to be okay when gas prices are rising and just as we're pulling out of Iraq a little- finally- there's talk of going to war with Russia, which is possibly the stupidest thing we could do. But nobody cares. Or nobody seems to, anyways. I feel like I'm the only one screaming because even though I'm not out on the street with signs at least I'm sitting at my computer typing a journal about how ridiculous everything is here.

Does anyone listen? Or care? Or even want change? I don't know anymore.

So Scream, America! Scream because our health care system is dismal and people are dying because nobody will pay for them to live. Scream because your government lies to you every single day and the elections are no longer about picking the best candidate, they're now about choosing the lesser of two evils. Scream because you're sick of our economy failing because the people in office are in league with the big oil companies looking to line their pockets as much as possible before people start to realize that something is horribly wrong with this picture. Scream because we're just sitting back and letting it happen. Just scream.